Jokes

The top 25 rejected children’s book titles.

1. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
2. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
3. What is that Dog Doing to that Other Dog?
4. How to Dress Sexy for Grownups
5. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
6. You Were a Mistake
7. Strangers Have the Best Candy
8. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
9. Some Kittens Can Fly!
10. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
11. The Children's Guide to Hitchhiking
12. Dad's New Wife John
13. POP! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games
14. 101 Fun Games to Play on the Road
15. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
16. The Little Golden Book of Electrical Wiring
17. Creatures Under the Bed: a Bedtime Story
18. Making Grown-Up Friends on the Internet
19. Chemistry from Under the Kitchen Sink
20. That’s it; I’m Putting You Up for Adoption
21. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
22. Your Nightmares Are Real
23. Where Would You Like to be Buried?
24. Timmy’s the Wrong Colour to be Your Friend
25. I Dare You! 101 Challenges to Prove You’re Not a Sissy

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said, “How about £50?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the £50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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There was a boy praying at night and he says "God bless mommy, daddy, grampa, and good-bye uncle fred". And the next day uncle fred died tragically by getting hit by a mac
truck. So the next night at prayertime, the boy says "God bless mommy, daddy, and good-bye grampa". The next day, grampa was playing golf and was hit by lightning and then was drug out to the 18th hole and he died. The next night people were getting real worried. At prayertime, the boy says, "God bless mommy and good-bye daddy". Well, the next day the father was especially careful and when he got home, his wife was crying. He asked, "Honey, what's wrong?". She said, "The postman is lying dead on the front doorstep!".